The Solitude You Inhabit

By: Rev. Dr. Mary Lautzenhiser Bellon

Contemplative priest and author Henri Nouwen often said that being solitary and being in community are complements. As I was dwelling on that, I reflected on how my own contemplative practice connects me more, I believe, with the heart of the world. I hope you enjoy the poem.
 
The Solitude You Inhabit
 
I must venture 
into solitude to find you –
oh, not just the sounds of breath
from the rhythmic lungs of God,
but all of you and all of us:
 
the me folded away and hidden,
the egret low on the water,
the bear slumbering in winter,
the friend whose comfort saved my grief,
the stranger picking melons in the produce aisle.
 
I must venture 
into solitude where my beloved-ness gathers 
around me like a prayer shawl
and I am deaf to calls to search elsewhere;
I become so gathered that I see and hear
Beloved-ness rolling from the sky,
bubbling up from the streams
invisibly rich with inbreath.
 
I hear 
some who do not even know
the sound beneath sound
the love beneath love,
the healing beneath the healing. 
 
I must venture 
into solitude to find the world
and to love it like the Mystery of life loves.
 
I must hold very still,
open all the windows I have closed
and wait for the color, the cup and the bread, appearing
over the sacrament of this creation, 
this treasure that contains you and me.